Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Twenty-Somethings


I think I need to blog about this and get over it.

Is it immature to dwell on age? I would stop thinking about it, but it's hard to help when people ask your age at least four times a week. I got asked my age five times yesterday. Five! I always considered that a question for younger kids so you could see their cute responses in the form of fingers and softly muttered digits.

In just 20 days I turn, well, 20.

"Hi, I'm Maggie and I'm 20."

It just sounds so wrong! I mean, just look at me:


As told to me yesterday, "You look like you're twelve!"

I don't mind looking young. It's something I enjoy, actually.... but that's not what this post is about.

This post is about what happens after 20, 21, and 22 --- 23!

23, in my mind, is the beginning of the twenty somethings.

I was first introduced to the twenty somethings in 2007 through my favourite music artist, brilliant English jazz musician, Jamie Cullum.

He opens the song with...
After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
I could work for the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same



I have to admit I'm frightened of offending any of my twenty something readers - but not too much.

Twenty something - you're just in the middle. Trying to flounder and find your way. Finishing education. Maybe trying to find a mate in the later twenty's. Making your way.

Are there still set goals to strive for or are you finally ground into the rut of routine that life will become?

I guess this is all up to me. I guess I am the one who has the power to keep life out of the rut. Sure, I can get a regular job, but it's up to me to keep things fresh and new. Life doesn't have to become a day to day slide - that's why I started blogging. I started blogging because I didn't want each day to pass without notice. After a what-seemed-dull month I could go back and say, "Hey, dude. You did have a pretty dandy January," or whatever month it is.

Perhaps, in just a few years, I will learn to celebrate from 25 to 29.

But for now I'll be twenty.
Twenty years ancient!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

She Hates What I Do - Thanks Pal


"I really hate it when people use their disabilities as an excuse..."

Thank you, friend.
Thank you.

This was directly, yet indirectly addressed towards me and my mind is still processing it. Low blow, low blow.

This is what she told me after I told her how I had been doing at community college. I had told the story of this quarter, how my teachers had been gracious enough to give me extensions. I was talking about how professors can be really kind and helpful sometimes. She then told me she didn't think her professors would be. I asked if she had asked. She then told me that her professors lay down the rules pretty early on. I acknowledged that they do, but sometimes ADHD enters in.

That's where that quote was spoken.

It didn't make me feel good.
That word hate, in there, makes me feel not so good.

If you look at definitions and absolute truth, yes, I am using the ADHD as an excuse to make my life easier. I'm not going to try to side step that. But there is so much more.

Often, I feel like I can't get through college (I am taking two or so quarters off). It is a struggle for me. I have the brains to get this work done, no problem, but it is still a mountain I am working on climbing. Much of the challenge, for me, is creating the will to get through this. I know I can and will, in time, but I know I can't do this on my own.

I have no issues in going to my teachers and creating allies of them to help me get through this.

I'm not going to try and be the "big girl" and get this done on my own. Why? Because it's not worth it, to me. It's not worth the anxiety and countless hours of frustration. I don't want my education to take a toll on my emotions. I see no benefit in that happening. And so, if I need to, I'll ask for help.

I don't think it makes me a weaker person. In the long run, I think it is better. I don't think school is worth getting stressed out about. There is nothing noble about getting overwhelmed with homework. I don't want to spend some of these amazing years of my life feeling horrible.

Overall, I am still grateful that I have a school that is working with me through this. I still feel hopeless at times, but inside I know I can get this done.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Canton Obwalden - Call It Home


Click on the photo and make it prettier.


This is where I used to live.
This is where I call home.

Welcome to the Swiss canton of Obwalden!

Isn't it beautiful? I got this picture on a hike up to Giswilerstock - a peak I could see each day from my Giswil home.

The dots in Sachseln and Giswil represent each of my homes I lived in from 2007-2008 (it's the Rotary Youth Exchange way - multiple homes per year). Up in Sarnen, that's my school, Kantonsschule Obwalden.

I miss that place so much. It makes me ache inside. I get this strong longing inside me to run back. This picture doesn't even half capture the beauty and peace of my favourite place on the planet.

Obwalden is the very, very center point of Switzerland.
It's chockful of farmers!
It's only 190 square miles.
(to compare - Seattle is around 142 square miles, and only a city. Obwalden is a canton, which is the Swiss equivalent to a state).
There are cows.

And you'll hear much about it, over time, I think.

I love Obwalden.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Casio


DJ Phantom & Patrick @ post-concert car sittin'.


Last night - saw Casiokids.
It got me super-mega-duper reminiscent.

I was given my first Casio keyboard at a young age.

On car trips to Ocean Shores, it would always come along and music was made in the automobile. I know the sounds so well. I know the rhythms. Beats. Sounds.

And in dancing around last night, I heard those sounds again - being played by someone else on a stage.

Mind blown.
---------------------------------
I feel a mini-little urge to write about the actual concert. I want to write about how brilliantly AMAZING it was and how delighted I was to get to dance for over 2.9 hours. Sweaty sweaty people. Flailing limbs. I want to do a blurb on how I wripped a poster off a door and had the entire band, from Bergen, Norway, sign it. I could then go on and on about dancing, water, energy, and two rolled ankles but I think I won't.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Fraggle Rock Theme



The Fraggle Rock Theme cracks me up.
Lots of weird noises because it was all recorded on the laptop with the built in microphone and recorded by layering "narration" on windows movie maker.

Just thrown together for kicks in 20 minutes.

Instruments:
Martin Ukulele
Casio SA-5 [Brass Ens]
Vibraphone

If you don't know Fraggle Rock, go eat dirt.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraggle_Rock

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I Could Live In a Tent



I think it'd be swell to...

Go and buy a piece of land.
Land 29 minutes from somewhere, brinking on the middle of nowhere.

And then I want to get a tent, or an RV. And I went to live there.

I'd love to live in a place, and raise kids, where they are more encouraged to be outside than inside.

Wouldn't it be awesome to live in a tent? Maybe not all of a year, but much of it. It's not that it'd kill me. For years people have, and still are, living without having heating or cooling in their house. Check out this tent that I'm in. There's room for a fire pit and a vent there to let the smoke out. It's large. Comfortable - and it costs less than $1,000. It's kind of mind blowing to me to think that I could buy a tent like this today and take it home.

This is just one of those dreams I have. I'm not really thinking of living in a house. I know someday I will, maybe even sooner than later, but I find a tent to be a more attractive first home than an apartment.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hand-Me-Downs



Oh the beauty of getting free clothes.

Since I can remember (and I know it started before then) I have always been on the receiving end of bags and bags of clothes. I've had other girls giving me their old clothes and I've never thought much of it.

When I was little and would get a big trash bag full of clothes, it was kinda like Christmas. We would sit down in the living room and I would get to sort them all out between "keep" and "pass on."

When I was much younger, the clothes had usually already been worn by 2-4 other girls so they were much dated but I got some pretty good clothes that way.

This weekend I got even more hand-me-downs in charming Utah (between Salt Lake City and Provo). My dear friend Chloe was going through her old closest and getting rid of most of the contents (she lives in Seattle now).

As you can see, I'm coming home with the gold.

And that includes not one, but two pairs of snow pants. I didn't even have some before today but was in need (although not immediate).

Few things beat hand-me-downs. See, there's no guilt at all in taking them because no money is being spent and it's a win win situation. I get to wear clothes I'd never even think of buying. I get to try out new "styles" that I might not have considered my own. It is very amusing.

So. For this reason I will continue to be grateful for being my small, 5' 3", 113 lb self. It does have its benefits, such as free clothes...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You-Taw



Apparently I get to go to Utah today.
Lucky me!

I got a call two days ago from a friend saying she was driving down. I could come with.

The friend is Chloe.

I know her from exchange year. Beautiful thing is I get to see two other exchangers in Utah in addition to Chloe.

These are folks I haven't seen since 2008.

Grand grand grand!

This is going to be a long drive....

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Grace in the School Yard - And Thanks For the Barf Bag


This quarter was a bit of a battle for me - and still is. The quarter finished yesterday, yet today I still had not only one test to do but two tests and a research paper.

Queen of Procrastination?
I procrastinate beyond the point of procrastination. I procrastinate till I'm late.

This is why I love community college, though. My teachers work with me so I can succeed.

It was the night before my English paper was due (10 page research paper) when I discovered I had a major Science paper also due the next day.

*cue panic attack*

Crap! I haven't felt this overwhelmed in ever so long.

I know it's great to feel all super-hero like, but I just couldn't do this on my own. When I get into a crazy-too-much-to-do mindset, it's like my body is suspended in mid-air by dental floss so I can't move or get anything done. I've learned that sometimes the best thing to do is ask for help.

I know I need to learn to grow up and just get things done, but I'm still growing and learning and sometimes I just fail to make magical papers appear.

I called up my English teacher who graciously gave me an extension.
She is the same English teacher who brought me back a barf bag from her vacation for my collection!
She rocks.

So I still have this paper to write but I'm not too worried. I've gotten a 4.0 on every essay we've turned in (guess I'm not a dreadful writer) and more than 100% on tests. In fact, on the last test I managed to not only get all the questions right but all the bonus questions. Take that ADHD!

School can be a struggle, but I'm grateful that I have so many allies in the school system working with me, not against me. I don't think I'd get that if I went to a large university.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

We Is A Goin'

Pregnant


When I'm pregnant, I'll look like this.

Photo 1) Fingers Under Ribs
Photo 2) Pregnant Me!

I have no intentions of being pregnant any time soon. People ask me when I'll start dating, maybe even get married. The magical number right now is 27. I just can't see myself settling any time soon. Golly, if I found the right guy I'd be cool with some sort of relationship but as of now I don't see anything happening in the near future. I also choose not to even give myself a chance of getting pregnant till I get married, if I do.

Who knows.
That's the future and right now I have a squirrel report to focus on.
------------
Honesty Time
Yes. There is a guy I could see something happening with but I don't think anything will. So I'll just keep waiting.

Majestic


Switzerland is better than the postcards.
Every stroll you take delivers majestic views.

I wish I could send my family and friends to Switzerland to see my other home.

This shot is from a walk from L'Abri.
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