Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Don't Let Your Head Droop

Don't put your head on their shoulder, gals, ever.

I'm about as conservative as it gets (or, at least, I used to think so...).

One thing I have learned, as a girl, is: Do not put your head on the shoulder of a guy nor let their head sink down.

See, you would think that would be a safe friendly thing you can do. You would think that would mean nothing. Yep. That's what I thought.

I can think of a few examples of times when it got ever so late, my head got ever so heavy, and it ended up on a shoulder or vice versa.

It takes less than four seconds to recall what happened within an hour of that:
One time ended up in, "I like you." Not on my part.
Another time ended in his miserable attempt to kiss me. I found out I'm good at dodging lips. Very good at it. I know my boundaries and maintain them with pride.

But, rewind, before those moments - what happened?

Sob stories were told. They shared lowest moments of their lives.

Head to shoulder.
Then they told me something from their past.
I listened.
And for some reason, they went running with that little ounce of friendship and tried to turn it to something else.

Humans are funny creatures.

But I now know that physical touch is ever so powerful and, therefore, I avoid it with the opposite sex unless we're dancing, then I welcome it. Sometimes hugs are ok but I've been known to shy away from them. This is an entire different post in itself. I'll be quick to hug folks, at times, taking any chance to wrap my arms around a person. But other times, just can't do it. There are certain people, regardless of how close I am to them, I simply don't hug. There are other mates who it just seems critical that a hug takes place...

What can I say? I have let my guard down before. I thought it was ok for some sort of physical connection (totally platonic) to be there (elbow to elbow anyone?) and I now realize that just might not be possible. Or it might. It is with some folks, but sometimes I am truly surprised by the actions of others.

For now, I'll keep my hands to myself and my neck strong enough to support my head on its own.

Now head on the lap, though, that's a different story. I've found that to be safe.


  1. I remember once on a public bus, the one I take home from work every day, the young woman sitting next to me fell asleep and her head sagged down onto my shoulder. She was 20-something, I was in my late 30s; everyone looked strangely at ME. I didn't want to be rude or mean by elbowing her awake as she was clearly exhausted. She was extremely embarrassed when she woke up. But I didn't tell her my life's story or try to kiss her. ;) Still, it is a rather intimate thing to do, when I think about it; more so maybe than the now-ubiquitous hug.

  2. I don't think it's an action to do between friends either, more a couple thing.

  3. I do agree, Renée, but for a person who doesn't wish to date - 20 years can be a long time to keep your head up. With these mates, I was certain everything was clear and platonic. I didn't see much a difference between girl and guy friends. Luckily, now I've been cued in a bit more.


Your words make me grin.

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