Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Worlds Collide: Trying To Keep Them Seperate

One thing I like? Keep my world's separate.
A part.

Let me elaborate.

In my life, I have a lot of different "worlds" or social groups. Places where I know folks and hang out with them. The world is made up of the people who I encounter when I partake in that activity.

This includes my...

  • High School World
  • Exchange Student 2007-08 World
  • Exchange Student 2009 World
  • Square Dancing World
  • Flash Mob World
  • Volunteering World
  • Circus World
  • Olympia World
  • Contra World
  • Calvary Chapel Bothell World
  • Seattle Pacific University World
  • Community College World
  • Gaelic World
  • Nanny World

And one thing that gets me antsy-er than anything else is when those worlds get mixed up.
I go out of my way to keep them separate.

And it's hard.

And it can come across as me being cold, selfish, self centered, and awkward (because it is).

For example, I don't want to take someone from my square dancing world and introduce them to my Olympia world.
I don't want to share my contra world with my community college world.
I don't want to take a friend from church with me to go do a flash mob.
What I mean by that is I don't want to, say, take someone I know through contra and then have them start interacting with my other world.

Now if someone is coincidentally in both worlds, that's fine - like I have a friend who I know through circus school and then I ran into her at a contra dance.

It makes me really really uncomfortable.

Problem is - some of my worlds are pretty awesome. I talk about things I do, folks get interested, and then I'm in a pickle. Then they want to do what I do. And this happens a lot.

I start doing something. Talk about it. Then folks say, "Hey, dude, how do I get on board?"

Normally I'll side step it. Try and talk it down. Talk around it.

And sometimes I'm just blatant and honest and tell them what I'm like.

I have an AMAZING friend named Joelle. Were she not so wonderful and understanding, I wouldn't post this on here. We've got open communication, dude. Anyways, Joelle heard I was starting up circus school and she got interested.  Ahh, this is awkward to post. Luckily, she was only joking. Well, not joking in being interested. Joking because she wouldn't be able to attend because it was so far.

It made me feel like an awful person. Awful friend as...
I had to pretty much say, "Hey dude, I love you but.... I don't want you there. I want to do it on my own."
I didn't have to. But I got all wound-up-in-my-stomach.

That's pretty much what I said. I still feel uncomfortable about it.

But that was one of the few times I've been able to actually speak up to folks. It's hard to explain to people and, in the end, I just sound selfish and self centered. I guess that might be it, but really, I just want to keep my worlds apart.


  1. Dearest MAGGGGi

    You and your adventures are incredible!! Keep it up, keep shining and doing what works best for YOU. Do not say sorry about it! I understand and will always want to understand.

    I am so happy you are such a go-getter! I LOVVVVE YOU and yes, it was a joke :D If I am still around, i'll join the Evergreen cirus next year. Tons of fun yoooooooo!

  2. That are a lot of worlds, I mean how many people do you know?! :p Sounds really exhausted to keep them all seperated!

  3. i completely understand that. i hate mixing my school life and my outside school life. it just feels so wrong.

  4. - same here!
    ps: valentinstag ist nur schön für verliebte paare, nicht für singgles (;



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