Wednesday, September 7, 2011

ADHD - Crediting It For the Good and Bad - And It's Also Just Me



I was reading the blog of a wonderful woman I know over at Living with ADHD when I came across this:

"The mornings are the worst for us.  The hardest thing for me to remember is that 99% of this she can not help doing."

And I want to expand on the comment I made over there. First, want to say that Pollyanna is an incredible woman and what she is doing for the Lil Miss is truly admirable. Second, I want to say, "Amen - those mornings can be crazy!"

But I do like to reflect.

I would disagree with the 99% number.

Even with ADHD, I am 100% accountable for my actions. Regardless of my brain chemistry, my actions have consequences that I need to learn to live with. So even if it is the ADHD to blame, in the big world out there, I'll get the blame - and that's how it should be.

ADHD is not my excuse. It's an explanation.
It's a name for my brain chemistry that helps create this personality that differs from the "norm."

The ADHD is me and I am the ADHD and it's ok with me.A lot of who people are, their personalities, is based on chemistry. I highly, highly recommend the book Quirk, by Hannah Holmes. It doesn't just say "brain chemistry" but actually explains what chemistry is different and how.

Because just as those chemical imbalances cause havoc, they also help form the creative, out-of-the-box personality I have. If I call out my bad-side as being ADHD, it's only fair I give it credit for the good things.

I'm alright with ADHD. Me and it, we're chill, yo. Best buds.

It used to scare me at times when I didn't have my meds to keep me down, but now I've learned to be me... and the crazy thing is I 've learned that people like the med-less Maggie just as much as they love me when I'm drugged up. In fact, classmates sometimes ask me not to take my meds - just because they know, for them, they're guaranteed a few extra laughs in class with my defensive-censors down. However, I have to say it's rarely not worth it for me because that's a guaranteed way to get behind on coursework.

I might loose things. Forget other things. Not do other things. Get muddled up. Say awkward things.

But at least I have the energy for all of that... right?

Actually, that entire last statement was crap. Scratch all that.

Anyways, I don't think 99% of what I do isn't the ADHD. I want credit for it, the good, the puerille, the abstruse, the ugly. I don't think ADHD deserves that much of the spotlight of who I am. It's just a tiny little part me... it just so happens to be the part that stands out the most, at times.

3 comments:

  1. Aaah you make me understand everything so much more. And even if I don't fully understand the science, it's your approach to it that I am most interested in. You rock.

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  2. Hi. :)
    I saw your post on Rachel's blog and came over here to check you out.
    I'm not sure if I have ADHD or not. I was diagnosed as a child but that was the early 90s and everyone was diagnosed back then. My parents decided not to put me on meds and I haven't been tested again or got on them since becoming a teenager/adult.

    My question is, I suppose, how do you deal with the times when it feels like everything is falling apart? For example, when something is coming up in school, I get to the point where I can't stand to look at a book for more than a couple of minutes I'm so unfocused I can't be still or even see, and I just want to cry sometimes because I want to do the work, I just can't focus enough to.

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  3. As my son's ADHD and SPD go hand in hand with who knows what else (still trying to figure out the pieces), my husband and I sometimes go head to head on how to deal with/cope with it all and how to make our son and us understand everything better. Your words "ADHD is not my excuse. It's an explanation," are so true.

    I hope we all get to the place where you are at - best buds with the heuro stuff.

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Your words make me grin.

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