Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thoughts I Typed Out On the Car Trip Up When I Wasn't Even Sure If I'd Make It To Haines Or Bail When We Reached The Border
April 15, 2012 - Sunday
I am glad I got in this car.
These were my thoughts this morning. I have to admit, sometimes my brain leaps back and forth. I haven’t had much time to mentally prepare for this trip since I had my second guesses.
I was going to write two days ago before the trip. If I had, this is what I would’ve said:
This Alaska-in-April thing? I have no idea if I’m going, no idea at all. I was quite certain that I was ready to go until last Thursday when the two lads showed up who looked like Andrew and Tyler. I continue to pack as if I’m going, but I’m not sure.
I don’t know where my reservations come from. Normally, when I go on a trip, I’m set and excited. Bowen Island, California, Colorado, Switzerland when I was 16 and 18. All those time, I felt secure about going. But, well, for this trip there’s something in my gut that tells me I ought not go.
IO’m trying to figure out where it comes from. Should I have faith an d follow my instincts? The problem is, I’m not even sure they’re my own. There’s a chance that it is just emotions as a culmination from what everyone else has been telling me. Perhaps all of their thoughts went to the back fo my head and, when it was finally time to go, they all burst out.
The very morning I left for the trip, I actually wasn't really planning on going to Haines. I was going to bail once we reach Canada. Well, maybe. I really didn't know.
April 16, 2011 - Monday
We’re in the midst of a snowscape, thick with mountains. It’s incredible and my emotions are on overload as I try to take it all in. I punch the ceiling with excitement. This is my life.
“This is so awesome,” Andrew just exclaimed. I think his words were quite acurate.
We spent last night in below freezing, curled up in sleeping bags in a muddy rest stop parking lot in the Yukon. The night before was spent at another muddy rest-stop, but that night we spent cramped in the Subaru. I switched between reclining from front passenger against the window with my legs surrounding the stick shift and curled up in an extreme vertical fetus position. The first night we got perhaps 4 hours of sleep, but the next charged us up with 9 hours of frozen rest.
I am committed to this trip. I’m going to Haines, Alaska and I am going to live the
re for the next month or so. I’m not sure what to expect yet.