Wednesday, September 26, 2012

A Series of Unimportant Rambles & Photographs

Tonight ought to be celebratory. You see, tonight is the last night where I could have made attempts.

Attempts for.. closure.

I'm learning to find closure on my own.
And it hasn't worked... yet.
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Want to do a "see-how-far-I-can-walk-in-a-day" day in Seattle on 10/11/12. Curious what my body is capable of.

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Music can be the most vicious of triggers.. and the sweetest.

I was safely working in a client's home when I heard a very specific series of notes ring out on a melodica down the street.
Stomach ache.
Two hours.

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A fleet of 20+ Airstream trailers found their way to Haines for a weekend.
I was in a chipper mood the other day and I managed to run into two men named Mark who managed to tell me that they always saw me smiling and that I ought to keep smiling. One offered to take me on a boat ride.

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When folks comment on my letter writing habits in public, I like to offer them a postcard and stamp to send to someone they care about. Then, they best write that postcard right then and there.

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My client asked me about my Grandma. I told her and ended up crying.

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Haines in the clouds. Then, I bike just five minutes away to see what it was I was standing under...
Above picture was taken in the midst of town.

I told the same client as mentioned above that I was leaving for three weeks. As I left, she started crying. I waited outside the door for 5 minute to see if she got better - she wailed all the louder. 

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[Frequently] I feel like, in Alaska, I'm certainly not worth getting to know.
I'm not always fond of who I've been here.
But this is just a season (well, it's been three, technically).

I like old ladies.

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I want to learn some carpentry and how to be a blacksmith.

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You can't hide from the weather when you're on a bike.
RAIN IN YO FACE!

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Ally & Kat of Louisianna.
A day out on the water with a client.
Home.
Moose-steak sandwiches.

Some people bring out the worst in you.
My hope is to be able to be the sort of person that can bring out the best.

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Some of my favourite summer-help from China & Kazakhstan.

I was reading a blog where the author seemed to paint her life as perfect (almost nauseating).
Dear People Who Read This,

My life is not perfect. I'm still figuring things out. If it was perfect, I think I'd get bored.

Please give all the advice you've got. I'll listen.

Love,

Margaret

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I think Byrne may have the finest library in Haines - he certainly serves the finest tea.
I've been rediscovering the bliss of reading. It takes up my time and tickles me a bit.

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She shares her wisdom and experiences with me --- and, goodness, I'm just grateful for her.

KFDSJKSDLSDLSDSF

So many things I ought not say so I don't so they bounce around in my brain on repeat.
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Anastasia, letters, and music at the Mountain View Motel.
I like Amish postcards.
One day's worth of letters.
Birthday morning - letter reading session. Feeling the love.
Got 15 pieces of mail yesterday.
Got 14 last Wednesday.
10 last Tuesday.

Writing back one letter at a time, day by day.

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Joy, of New York, was in Haines for a few days and I managed to run into her everywhere. She always made me smile and I enjoyed her company at... the pool, Chilkoot Lake, Tlingit Park, Mountain Market, at the library, and on the street.

Just want to dance.

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This family has been so encourageing and amazingly good to me. I'm grateful for them -- they always put me in good spirits and bless me abundantly.
Back in June when I was in that weird-not-me-state I remember coming up with a plan. It was to cut off a certain someone and erase them from my life entirely, which I conceived as doable. That person said I couldn't do that. Now, three months later, I realized that that was exactly what I should've done.

When, after anything, all someone has to say is, "I didn't do anything wrong," putting 22-gallons of blame on your shoulders, it's a good sign to run.

Instead, I did a temporary cut-off, and then remembering what they said I sprang back, got hurt, ran away, came back -- making me the weak one and putting them in the position of power, calling all the shots.

Over three months later and my brain still wants all the pieces to come together.
I should have ran away and stayed away in the first place. 

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I think think I could survive on beans, rice/quinoa, sweet potatoes, carrots, and kale.

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