Friday, October 12, 2012

Do I Want to Go Back "Home?"


Awwe, but do I have to go back?

This is not what I expected to feel at the end of this trip to Seattle.

In case you're totally lost and know nothing of my life:
I'm from Seattle but have been living in Haines for around six months.
I came back to Seattle for a few weeks to celebrate my parent's 30th wedding anniversary and get in some dancing. Now it's time for me to go home.

Haines and I have a predominantly loving relationship. I do love that place. I love the mates I have. I beyond-adore my job.

But.
That's.
About.
It.

I came home to Seattle and either participate in, or had chances to participate in...

huge parties in an abandoned tunnel, three day dance weekends, dancing every night, sushi night, flash mobs, going to the city and having too many things to do, Taste of Iceland, Croatia Days, Salmon Days, going to REI, the Burke Gilman Trail, Om Fusion, dinner parties, crazy beautiful house concerts, house parties, easy access to Portland and Vancouver, BC...

That's not even the half of it. There is so much to do here! It's incredible. So many opportunities.

Haines kinda makes me feel like a dull uninteresting anti-social person.

Haines brought out the very very absolute worst in me. Sometimes I wonder if people in Haines even ever go to know the real me... I really extensively dislike who I was in June. People in Seattle have never seen that side of me.

But, I just have to remember those wonderful people I love in Haines and that I am lucky to have a job I love.

It's the people I am going back for. I am grateful for people like Alice, Lori, Jenty, Janine, Erik, Carol, Felicia, Ellen, Brooke, Steven, Stacy, Chad, Payson, Sierra, Crystal, Ramona, Byrne, Nicole, Alex, Marlys, Gail, Mary, Ashley, and Beth.

I need to stay in Haines for a while and live cheap so I can go on those adventures I've been planning in my head. I need to live frugally so I can explore. This is a season of life I need to live through.

I get thinking, though, when asked the question (asked by Callie, yesterday), "Are you happy in Haines?"

I actually did have to think through it a bit and make sure I wasn't just answering with the convenient, "Yes." I do know this, though - I like calling Haines home, right now.

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