In Reply to the Anonymous Comment

I do read every single comment y'all leave and appreciate them. Some are insightful. Some are encouraging. Then, I get comments like this after posts like this:

So Magi: I have to ask, since you did not address it and I expected it to be at least hinted to - What does Magi want in a relationship? What does "relationshi" mean? Friends do come and go and this is understood. So, Magi, what are you looking for in a male friend relationship?

So Anonymous: I want to first and foremost warn you of this -- don't ever expect anything of this blog. I know you "expected it to be at least hinted to" but, just to let you know, you're going to be disappointed frequently if you've thought you could expect anything of it. I write what I want to write when I want to write it because I think I want it to stick in my brain or I think folks might like to know. It also has to be a topic that I'm interested in.

I also want to warn you, Anonymous, that I may have a bit of a harsh tone in this post. It might be because you forgot my umlauts. You also switched between talking to me in third and second person which made me feel weird. I talk pretty frank when I don't know who I'm talking to.

Your question perplexes me because you ask a few questions there and I'm not sure what you want me to answer. This is a summery of the questions you asked:

1) "What do you want in a relationship?"
2) "What does "relationship" mean?"

3) "What are you looking for in a male friend relationship?"

I think you should have defined number two before asking me. See, relationship is just used to describe, in my mind, the bond between two, eh, two things. Two nouns. What is my relationship to Haines? Haines is my home. What is my relationship to White-Out? I collected it in the fifth and sixth grade.

But I'm guessing you are referring to relationships between human beings. This is where I'm not sure if you're referring to relationships platonically or romantically. Dating vs. friendship.

If you meant friendship, then question one, I would say that is a very vast answer and for me to answer it would be very limiting. I could say I want friends that will stretch me to grow, but sometimes you need to be the steady one to be there for others as they stretch and grow and in turn that can mature... see, a very long answer.

If you meant "relationship" in terms of, "YO! Dat's my boyfrehhn," well, you should have said so. Once again, that answer could be a book. If that is your question, it might be answered later in this post. I haven't decided yet if I want to write about that. I'm not sure if I want to tell people.

See, when it comes down to it, I can want "this" and want "that," but the right man will be the right man. Do I have lists in my head? Sure I do. I've got some dandy checklists that I use to convince myself not to like someone of the opposite gender. And, yes world, that was me saying out loud that I do sometimes find myself infatuated with men. Crazy, I know.

And then you asked "What are you looking for in a male friend relationship?"

Well. Let's take out relationship, there, because that word is confusing. There's "male friend" and "male relationship" and when you smash them together like that, person, I don't know what you mean.

In a  male friend, I want the same thing I get from a female friend. Which means I generally want to be friends with passionate loving people who generally inspire me. But, many friends go beyond that small qualification or don't even reach it. If it's a dude and a friend, I don't want to worry about loosing them the minute they get a girlfriend.

You said, "Friends come and go and this is understood," which is, in some ways, valid. But I think that was said in response to my fear of loosing friends when they enter into relationships. I don't think that's the finest way for a friend to go. They go because they don't need you any more and found someone to spend all their time with. That, once again, leads me to believe that I'm simply a female place holder. Not cool. Not cool.

What am I looking for in a male friend relationship? Just that. A friend.

But, are you, by any chance, asking what I  am looking for in a not-platonic relationship with a male?

You didn't really say that. So I hope I answered your questions. If not, feel free to re-articulate what you wanted me to tell you. Or, give me a call and I'll tell you over the phone.