|I am pretending to be Tucker.|
This can't be happening.
Is my knee overcompensating for the ankle that's been twisted?
Is it the weather?
Was it carrying the heavy pack with the scooter?
My ankles I can normally get back to speed. I fear twisting them but I can wrap them and can usually eventually get them back to “walking conditon.”
The knee thing, though, is a new realm for me. A scary one. Seriously.
Why can't my body just support itself?
My favourite things are dancing and walking – and currently, those aren't as possible.
Luckily, the knee healed overnight but, of course, after a couple of miles the next day, it was back to the state it was in before. Today I pushed it after over 8.2 miles covered getting around D.C.
I say this in sincerity – if my knee does not shape up by April 17, I am not going to Russia. I don't think I am. I don't think it would be wise for me to go to there without my body operating properly.
Once again – I might not go to Russia (next month). I might not go to Ukraine (next month).
That door might be closing (for now).
And I have peace about that.
Two things would be holding me back from going when I wasn't supposed to:
1. My desire to go to Russia and Ukraine. I have a strong desire to check out these countries.
2. My pride. I've told folks I'm going to Russia. If I don't go, well, “that won't make me as interesting.”
“that won't make me as interesting.”
I'm running away from mindsets like that. I've been working on not simply persuing a life made of stories just so I can retell them. I've had so much positive reinforcement for random antics. People always praise a story if it's told right and I've gotten pretty good at collecting them. The problem is, that's a pretty awful mindset to wrap yourself in. I don't consider it to be healthy to live your life in a manner so that you can tel others about it. That's self-centered and can become unsatisfying and dangerous. I'll be giving it a lot for thought. I'll be thinking hard about if I should go to Russia or not.