Thursday, June 20, 2013

Congrats! They Graduated.

Photographs from my high school graduation back in 2009.
Editing was also done when I was 18...

I logged onto Facebook this weekend to see the majority of my classmates from high school all, once again, decked out in peculiar square hats as if from some foreign bizarre cult.

Graduation.

Not from high school – that was 2009.
These folks were graduation from the university.
Class of 2013

Since high school, they’ve spent the past four years studying hard to get a degree. All of these former classmates of mine all were able to achieve something – this was one of their life goals. "BA in Psychology" Computer Science. English. Biology. Love the engineers...

I celebrate what they’ve achieved! From ages 18 to 22, they’ve been pursuing something that we've been told will get them places. They have been obtaining what I’ve heard is “the key” to getting a good career. In fact, a lot of them are already on that “career” path.

I’ve talked to a few of them and some have already committed the next stages of their life. Five years. Ten years. They’ve already chosen what they want to do until they’re nearly 30!

I had a couple twinges of “golly, I wish I had done that” as I saw them with their diplomas. Or maybe more so a feeling of being left behind. For me to get to where they are would take two years.

But, it only takes me about four minutes of actual thought to realize that, at this point, thoughts of going to school right now would be silly.

Why?

Because I have no desire to go. The thought of going back to school is just about as appealing to me as putting on Andrew’s sweaty crusty socks on my hands and using them to wash my face.

And, truly I believe, that it would be a waste of time and effort to try and go to school without any sort of positive motivation or desire. Without the desire for knowledge that can be obtained from books, I would have no driving force to keep me going day by day. Without motivation, with ADHD, I don’t go far. Well, I guess I do fine (I can get my 4.0 when needed) but it’s not a pleasant experience.

Why would I want to waste my time and my money on something I don’t enjoy? What is it going to achieve? I know sacrifice is important, but I have to believe in what I'm sacrificing for. See - going to school, unless you get badass scholarships, includes a huge debt-obligation unless you've got the cash to back yourself up. I don't want to commit to debt unless I know why the degree is important and how it will help me pay off the debt in the end. I don't think I could live like I do if I had debt to pay off.


I celebrate what they’ve accomplished and know it is no small feat. I know that some of them are now on a path to being able to make significantly more than I ever will.

But that’s the choice I’ve made.
Right now, I have consciously decided that that’s not the life path for me at this moment.

Perhaps later on…

Don’t know where I’m going.

I guess sometimes I feel like I’ll be left behind.
But I really don’t want to get a degree.
And I’m happy with where I am now.
But I wonder if I’m selfish because I could help people more if I had a decree.

I'm sorry -- this is just about as scattered as my own brains.

The end.

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