Sunday, July 14, 2013

Positive Thinking vs. the Brambles


"You're so positive," my roommate says as I hauled out a box of my belongings out the door.
"I've got to be. The 'not-positive' side of me is not someone I like," I replied.

What was up?

When you live by the grace of a hotel in a room down the hallway (the one with the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and a few bedrooms), you have to be ready to be kicked out (nicer way to put it - moved) at any moment. Someone had rented out Room 17 (our room) and the hotel needed the cash so out we moved so whoever rented it could move in.

That's how things can work, here. People move around - and you get around one day's notice.

At first, I was a bit frustrated. Before, when Carrie was here, we weren't moved around. She's got this strong don't-mess-with-me personality and knows how to keep things aligned. But, when it's just me and a few other girls living for free, we don't get a say in the matter. I don't have any feelings like, "They ought not move us," at all. I'm just grateful to have a home! However, it's still not the most-lovely-thing to move all of your stuff from Room 17 to Room 7.

That's when I had to do what I do.
I chose to think positive.

I learned this a while back and it's taken years of perfection.

When things aren't so swell, I make a conscious, deliberate decisions to think positive in the situation. I choose to be ok with it.

I say it out loud with conviction.

"Moving is fun. I'm excited to be moving to another room for just 7 days."

Reality is that, when I said that, I wasn't thrilled - I was actually more-or-less annoyed. But, that did me no good. Getting frustrated or unchill was only going to harm me, bring me down, and up the chances I would negatively affect someone else.

By saying it out loud and believing I already felt that way, my body/brain/self started to believe it. By the time I had the first box out and loading it up with the clothes I've accumulated (thank you Racers!), I felt pretty chipper.

Folks, you know this already - getting frustrated and angry generally only hurts ourselves (although there's a chance you can drag someone else down with you). Now, in that, I'm not including the big things and I believe there is definitely a time when getting angry is totally merited, expected, acceptable, and even "good." However, there are a lotta lil' midges out there daily that can easily get you down.

Things aren't always going to be seamless.

And we get to choose how we're going to let that affect us.

One little hiccup used to send me reeling. Something off and I would have a hard time as my head prickled and those broken records started to spin. My room was my refuge, a controlled environment.

I'm proud to say that I've moved well beyond that, in general (still have slip-ups). If you want to travel, you've got to. Well, you ought to. Hold everything loosely. Have goals. Aim for them. But, when things are out of your hands, just keep walking and things will right themselves.

Signing off - the Girl In Room 7

I've been practicing winking... not very good at it yet.
-------------------------------------

I'm glad I didn't post that yet because, well, the story isn't over yet.

See, it's easy to be cheerful for a day - but what happens when we start to reach our limits.

Yesterday I moved my belongings to Room 7. Today, while waiting for lunch, Nazaar came up to me and told me I'd have to move yet again.

Whaaaaat? That's... that's rediculous. That's... why?

It frustrated the bejiebers out of me.

When it showed on my face and I tried to politely articulate that I wish he had had me go straight to Room 11 yesterday (since it was ready) or at least prepared me so I wouldn't unpack.

"It's funny," was his reply.

That was really, really not what I needed to hear.

This time, getting "positive" took a whole lot longer. It took a lot more effort.
I probably scowled for 30 minutes first as I tried to give myself an attitude adjustment that didn't come with as much ease. I prayed. I prayed again.

I started to think about the things that weren't going "my way" and realizing that I needed to learn to rely on God to help me brush them off and not complain. The "things" have been stacking up over the past few days. I need to let go of them and give them to God. I need to release them. I'm also quite certain I'm PMSing because when everything bothers me, it generally means it's around that time of the month.
I packed up again.
Moved.

And things were a'ight and righted.

And now I'm one of the Girls in Room 11 & 12.
Tomorrow I go to Slovakia.

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