Thursday, June 26, 2014

Considering School

'95 or so?
'08 - Age 18 - Senior year of high school
Photo Note: For this post, get to bring back some photographs from the archives and first years of this blog.

I've lately been exploring thoughts of going back to school (have I written about this lately?).

When I graduated from high school, I had no plans, and did what every normal post-highschool-graduate does and mid-summer decided to be an au pair in Switzerland for two Belgian kids. It worked well and helped me get a fuller sense of healing to the open sores that were left after my first year in Switzerland in '07/08. And, goodness, what's the point of knowing just German and Swiss-German when you could learn French as well?

2010 - Community College, age 20

Then I did the school thing for two years - community college.
Loved it.
Every single day. It was a ridiculous love affair that I was told would end after my first week of school, but kept itself going up until I got all the credits needed.

I adore learning - especially if it's logic, statistics, or economics - love economics - or math. See a trend? Pattern? These were the subjects I could ace without a struggle - just a lot of engaging time.

I like learning.

2006 - Age 15
But, after two years, I needed a break and, even more so, I needed a clearer path. I'd wait until I knew what I wanted to go to school for. I wasn't going to throw in $40,000 into a giant mystery - I've seen too many friends do that and get tied, in the end, to something they don't want. At the end of a long education, you're left with a debt to pay off.

Hate debt.
Hate it.
Don't want to be in it.

So I've had a couple year break - I finished my education in 2012. It's been a little over two years which I think is a good amount of time. In that time I've crossed country borders over 44 times and traveled to 18 countries. I've called Alaska home and lived a life where my daily purpose was to snuggle babies.

I'm trying to figure out what I feel most passionate about.

I've got two orientations - my brain orientation and my heart orientation.

My brain loves numbers and patterns. There's a reason why, when a lot of my class was getting C's in economics, I had an A - when they were scraping by on the test, I got 100%. I can get that stuff. There we go. We all have our different strengths and these are mine. I also have a knack for teaching these subjects to others and teaching in general. In multiple classes (Spanish, math, logic, and statistics), I've had students ask if I could go to the front of the class and explain something because they didn't get it and they knew I could deliver the knowledge to them in bite sized pieces.

Then there's my heart orientation.

2012 - Age 21 - "working"
I love taking care of humans. I love serving the homeless, snuggling abandoned babies, caring for the elderly, encouraging and play with kids, and being a companion and care provider to folks living with developmental disabilities. If I lived my life just doing these things (which is all I've done, thus far), it'd be a pretty grand life, I think.

Why? I can be fully passionate, put everything into these things, put all of my energy into them, and all of it is wrapped up in love. All of them are fueled by a love. When I do these things, I feel a sense or purpose. As self centered as I may seem (and feel at times), I know this life isn't about me, and I want to continually try to run towards others and serving them. This is where life happens. This is where I feel a sense of meaning.

There are a lot of careers for caring for folks.

What's the hang-up?

The idea of going to school for something like nursing makes me want to pull my hair out (and not just because of trichotillomania). I've looked at the course-load and there isn't a single course that interests me. Anatomy? Really?

And then I consider going and just getting a degree in maths. Well, not "just." Or maybe something that involves coding - coding seems to be up the same alley of logic, mathematics, statistics, and economics - patterns, maybe? Right? With a whole lot of problem solving and creativity added in.. maybe? Well, when I think about going to school for any of the topics I just mentioned, I get excited. I get this feeling of, "Hey! I can do this!"

So what's the plan? It changes each day, but here's what I've got for now...

Currently, I'm considering getting my CNA (become a certified nursing assistant) so I can start working/volunteering with hospice around the islands. It's a simple process. This is a current goal of mine. It was would be such, such an honour to do hospice - to care for people in the last days of their lives. I know it wouldn't be easy, I don't even know if I'd be good at it, but I want to see if this is a way I could serve the world.

However, in the meantime I want to see what I can do with the help of the internet. There are a bounty of online resources that will teach me all I want to know. If I can get the gumption to learn without any deadlines or someone pushing me, then I'll know I really am ready to go to school. For an ADHDer to sit down for a few hours a week and plug away at schoolwork for kicks will say a lot. Now, we'll just see if I can do it.

And, in the overarching meantime of all of this, I'll be saving up.
I do believe that a four-year degree can open certain doors in the future - and I have a feeling they'll be doors I want to keep open.

We'll see.

2009 - studying French in Switzerland as an au pair

1 comment:

  1. You love people and taking care of them... what's wrong with finding a great guy and making a great family with him? So many forces out there are surreptitiously influencing decent young women NOT to do this... but those forces are really pure evil. The world would be a better place with several Maggie Jr.s in it.


Your words make me grin.

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