Some weeks are rough.
Some have hit after hit and blow.
But I don't take this for granted - that I know that, in a few days or weeks, it'll be better. I don't take it for granted that I know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I don't take it for granted that I know, from experience, that time heals. I don't take it for granted how fast I can bounce back.
I'm not even sure what it was this week. Well, I do, sort of. PMS. A friend just left. Another friend committed suicide. Wonky relationships. Getting sick. Feeling like I'm in a haze.
The friend who committed suicide - that was really hard. I've cried a couple of times since then and I can't even imagine what he was going through. He was an awesome man (one of the coolest!) who was dealt a rough hand of cars. I have respect for him for making it as far as he did. I don't even know what to say. What is there to say? He's gone. I thought I was going to see him 18 days when I went to Alaska and he's gone. Did he know how much he is loved? Did he know how much we would miss him?
I'm writing out of the haze, now. Things have cleared up and I'm feeling better.
It's not a feeling better where I can dismiss his death, but I function and I look at what happened and mourn and keep running.
I'm starting to feel like being around people again. That's a good sign.
I'm starting to feel motivated to get things done again. That's also a good sign.