Saturday, December 6, 2014

Failure to Submit


I didn't turn in my assignments yesterday.

It was half the work as normal with a few more days than normal (thanks to it being the end of term and Thanksgiving).
I didn't do one.

And..

I don't know.

That's not me. I always turn in my work. Frequently, I do a rough draft and a final draft for my regular weekly math problems and turn them in 24 hours in advance. I'm that student.

I didn't do them.
I have a final on Wednesday.

I looked at the review problems. Nothing makes sense.

It's not that I haven't understood this class. After all assignments, quizzes, and the midterm, I have around a 98.4%. I got a 98.46% on my midterm. I'm not clueless.

But I am.

Finals Wednesday.

Luckily, no nausea today. No vomiting.
I think I'll just start relearning everything with the review problems. Maybe it will click?

Can I just quit all of this and go hide in Tobbit in the middle of Kentucky?

Side notes: I'm in communication with my professor and she's great and supportive. We're seeing how I do these next few days. I'm not worried about the long-term. I know I'll be all healed up. I also know that time will do wonders, so I'm patient for that. The only thing that's sort of complicated with this final. Beyond that, all is chipper and dandy.

My experience is not unusual.

I don't write from a place of hopelessness. I'm fine or know I'll be fine. Right now, I'm just using my blog as a place to sort out emotions. Some are a lot more down than others. 

2 comments:

  1. Magilady! Just getting caught up on these posts now. Unreal. Glad you're still with us. Part of me wants to say don't even worry about school -- it's just school. But another part thinks back to a time when I was faced with a frightfully traumatic brain/heart mess (of different proportions, and for different reasons), and not liking the added responsibility of those things, but being able to look back at just how helpful it was to have something like school (and PT work), just so that I was distracted with something and not locked in my thoughts about "the thing" all day. Because that's not a good place to be. It may not help with everything, but, it's good, I've found, at least to keep having (positive/productive) things to do, as you heal.

    Besides which, (and even more so), know that you are loved by God, and by your family in Him, both far and wide. For example, here in Toronto there are some extra-long, soul-engulfing Janice-hugs with your name on em.

    Or, if the chaos of our schedules ever works out, we may bring some to you someday. :)

    Either way, know that we appreciate you, and are glad that you're (still) out there, somewhere, on this planet, alive.

    Do be.

    And may God bless you every day of it.


    -Phil

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope today went well, Margaret. I was praying for you.

    ReplyDelete

Your words make me grin.

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