Over and over I get behind the driver's wheel thing and I drive that car, sometimes going 70 miles per hour and am seconds away from dieing
How do people do this so casually? How do they even... how?
It's just seconds from death and I don't feel like dieing right now. I mean, sometimes I really want to, but not at my core.
It's so scary.
And I get those micro-twinges of fear but luckily I can breathe through them now. I can count in and out and in and out and get back to normal pretty fast.
But not always super fast.
The other day I saw a office supply store and had to look at it and in that time, the car in front of me braked. Thank goodness I looked forward in time but had to fully slam on my brakes. This was my fault. I was distracted. This is why I didn't drive for so long - because I know I'm easily distracted.
The other day I got to take 99 straight the very-heart-core of downtown Seattle.
Oh my goodness.
It was actually sort of cool and empowering, but there was no relaxing behind the wheel. Alertalert.