Saturday, October 17, 2015

Better

It's been hard to write this year. I haven't been in the right place. I haven't been in the right place for any of the things I enjoy.

Things are, though, doing better.

For the most part, I haven't wanted to kill myself for almost an entire month! This is huge.
Suicide hasn't been at the front of my mind this month.

The only times that it has come to mind, mostly, is when I forget a dose of meds. Then, the tears quickly start to stream down my face, again (yesterday it was four times over Audrey Hepburn's life story and another time because the restaurant had a lot of people in it) and I think that death is a quick solution.

For the most part, though, I feel steady.

My anxiety is quite low and my brain has slowed down enough to give me time to think through my actions.
Getting better.
Getting better.

(although I never will be "better")

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