I still have a hard time with my diagnosis.
I still hope this will all end. I still hope I will get better. I hope the roller coaster ride will stop and that I can get off.
But none of this will happen, ever. The best that can happen is that the symptoms will be managed by taking lithium every day for the rest of my life.
Good thing I feel good about taking lithium.It's an element - just that. I have no problem with it.
I've got all of my hopes that will never come true. Those really.. really... aren't nice.
But I do have some things I'm grateful for. These are realities.
I'm grateful for my support group that has shown me so much unconditional love in tangible ways.
I'm grateful with a stable home full of loving people (all 10 of them).
I'm grateful for health insurance and smarts doctors helping me.
I'm grateful for medication that works.
I'm grateful for a support group that understands me.
I'm grateful to know that I have the tools needed to make the most of this mental illness.
I'm still learning to accept who I am and figure out who that person is. I'm sure not grateful for bipolar disorder, I hate it so much and everything it has done to me, but I am grateful for the life I have and where I'm headed.